Modern/Love, a film short

This is a wonderfully done 10 minute short film about modern love. It's set in the W Doha in Qatar. Even if you feel nothing for the characters, the scenes of the city, and the beach are beautiful.



"That is how we both fell in love through electronic love letters, like boys and girls from a time when written word was everything."

Am I screwed if this is what I think internet dating should be like?


Remember Robert Schwartzman from the Virgin Diaries, also known as the lead singer of Rooney, the band that was the OC soundtrack. sh.. sh... shakin.. shakin up. I'm going to wipe the dust of that CD. I have a crush on him.

Congrats!

Here's some inspiration to look at your days differently and make an impact in everything that you do...I think I have a girl crush on Sarah Kay

“We have this idea that love is supposed to last forever. But love isn't like that. It's a free-flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases. Sometimes, it stays for life; other times it stays for a second, a day, a month or a year. So don't fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable. But don't be surprised when it leaves either. Just be glad you had the opportunity to experience it.” 

- Neil Strauss

"any unraveled yarn will still retain the original bends and loops”

sum of all the people we have ever met

We are the sum of all the people we have ever met.

There's no doubt this is true, although there are some people that I wish I have never met. The ones where you knew deep down that they did not deserve your time, but you remained hopeful anyway. The ones you want to quickly forget but you know will only linger in the back of your mind the next time you meet someone else. The failed ones that make you more cynical than you were to start with.

Each failed relationship is a tragedy of its own, but the ability to look back on a relationship and reflect fondly on how someone could shape your life and values is very telling. Not all the people we've met are worth remembering.

Getting over someone is a lot like unravelling a sweater. (Stay with me on this corny analogy. I blame skinny girl for inspiring this train of thought) How tightly knit it is will determine how easy it is to unravel. The relationships that hold little meaning will unravel with a simple tug, and the yarn will quickly straighten itself out to point where you never knew that it was ever part of anything. But, if the relationship was very tightly knit, and their lives were so intertwined that they wouldn't be as kind, good, brave, (and any other positive trait) as they are now without the other's influence, any unravelled yarn will still retain the original bends and loops. Don't take my word on this, as I'm no knitting genius, but it's probably easier to knit the sweater back together with the memory of those knitting patterns within the yarn itself.

come on, skinny love

"Come on skinny love, what happened here?"

The lyrics of Bon Iver's Skinny Love strike a chord that resonates in all relationships -- that fail. Of course, when you’re in your late twenties where some of your closer friends have found “the one” and you’re attending more weddings than late nights out, you start to wonder, What happened here??

There are several interpretations to the song but I agree more with the interpretation that the “skinny love” is something that must be developed. “Skinny” describes new kind of love at the beginning of a new relationship. Not the butterflies-in-your-stomach-kind-of -love but the type of love you must find & form when you get into your Nth fight, long after the “honeymoon" stage has passed and logistics of co-existing in a relationship surface. It's a love that needs to be nourished. Without nourishment, skinny love doesn't stand a chance.

Sometimes it’s hard to get past that “skinny” stage. She’ll accuse him of all their problems, as she’ll “be holding all the tickets”. And he’ll be “owing all of the fines”. If you can’t get past skinny, then he writes ”pour a little salt, we were never here”. He urges her to “cut all the ropes” and to let him fall.

Not to be overly cynical in a happy blog - I find the most powerful lines of the lyrics to be the chorus because it offers up hope. And hope is powerful in our always evolving concept of how love is defined as we get older in relationships.

"and I told you to be patient
and I told you to be fine
and I told you to be balanced
and I told you to be kind"

Someone once told me; “we are the sum of all the people we have ever met”. With any relationship, you learn a lot about yourself and you always walk away with something.




There are several covers of Bon Iver's Skinny Love on Youtube but I really like Bella Ferraro's raw and nervous 1st audition (check the microphone shake @2:40).

the one who makes life come to life

After trying on my bridesmaid's dress today, I decided to search online for hair and accessory ideas. Naturally I stumble onto weddingbee.com which is a bridezilla's resource for all sorts of wedding ideas, and surprisingly, I came across some great quotes from someone who's planning to write their own wedding vows. Just thought I would share since we all enjoy sappiness...

From The Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

From The Irrational Season, By Madeline L’Engle

But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take…It is indeed a fearful gamble…Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature. To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take…If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation…It takes a lifetime to learn another person…When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often rejected.

And from Now we are Six by A.A. Milne

A soul mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soul mate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soul mate is the one who makes life come to life.