Sunday, February 24, 2013
The Human Race
“Look at us, running around. Always rushed, always late. I guess that’s why they call it the human race. What we crave most in this world is connection. For some people, it happens at first sight. It’s “when you know, you know”. It’s fate working its magic. And that’s great for them. They get to live in a pop song. Ride the express train. But that’s not the way it really works. For the rest of us, it’s a bit less romantic. It’s complicated, it’s messy. It’s about horrible timing, and fumbled opportunities. And not being able to say what you need to say, when you need to say it.”
(re-blog old post, summer 2011)
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Dating Advice: Avoid the Southbound Train
"you in the corner of the cafe" Seen at TeaNY, Lower East Side (photo: http://chirp.tumblr.com/post/593134520) |
Some
dating advice from Charles Warnke and why I should date an illiterate girl:
(Excerpt)
Date
a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar.
Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale
nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers
when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with
unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her
outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of
fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because
you’ve seen it in a film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your
apartment. Dispatch with making love…
…but only after you observe that the girl who didn’t read never made your heart oscillate with any
significant passion, that no one will write the story of your lives, and that
she will die, too, with only a mild and tempered regret that nothing ever came
of her capacity to love.
Do those things, god damnit, because nothing sucks worse
than a girl who reads. Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than
a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can
describe that amorphous discontent of a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that
parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity
instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that
distinguishes between the specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot
love her, and the inarticulate desperation of someone who loves her too much. A
vocabulary, goddamnit, that makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick.
Do it, because a girl who reads understands syntax.
Literature has taught her that moments of tenderness come in sporadic but
knowable intervals. A girl who reads knows that life is not planar; she knows,
and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment.
A girl who has read up on her syntax senses the irregular pauses—the hesitation
of breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads perceives the difference between a
parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter
cynicism will run on, run on well past any point of reason, or purpose, run on
far after she has packed a suitcase and said a reluctant goodbye and she has
decided that I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax
that knows the rhythm and cadence of a life well lived.
Date a girl who doesn’t read because the girl who reads
knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue
and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who
reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of
all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an
end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes
with only a twinge of sadness.
Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are
storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You
there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the
café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so goddamned
difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is
bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting
cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to
be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you
have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept
the life of which I spoke at the beginning of this piece. You will accept
nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being told. So
out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your
Hemingway with you. Or, perhaps, stay and save my life.
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